#8 My Sinuses

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They're just really p1551ng me off.

I don't mean to gross people out so if you don't want to know about it don't read it.

I get really bad sinus problems. Pain, headaches, being bunged up and then streaming, trouble sleeping, always blowing my nose' etc etc. I have seen doctors who haven't been very helpful - I have tried nasal sprays, tablets, homeopathic stuff, steaming, oil massages, etc etc.

I sneeze and blow my nose a lot and drive my girlfriend potty (although she's remarkable patient given how annoying and yucky it is)

It's most likely allergic rhinitis.


Basically, I need to stump up for allergy testing and look at treating nasal polyps (isn't that gross) which I'll most likely have. Surgery is not an option for me because: 1) I'm a coward 2) It's gross 3) It's quite tricky and can cause damage 4) Longer than desirable recovery time 5) High recurrence of them growing back anyway.

It just spoils my days, makes me grumpy (even more so) and costs me a fortune.

Happy happy joy joy. :(

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#7 'Quiet' Coaches

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Quiet Coaches - I used to love you - great idea - travelled a lot on trains and was so chuffed when they were introduced. Now, my affair with them has ended - something has come between us - I hope it can be rekindled.

So why is it? Well, now they are frequented by mobile phone shouters, pingy-beepy laptop users, and accursed I-pod users so deaf they have to have music so loud they might as well have speakers.

I think in their own deluded worlds they perceive everyone else in the other carriages as noisy and annoying and retire to the quiet coach so they can be undisturbed in their own personal sadistic form of noise making.

The temptation to wedge a phone down someone's oesophagus; to garrote someone with their white headphone lead; to slam the laptop shut on someone's head, is often very tempting but then I remind myself of what a wonderfully calm, forgiving and well-adjusted model citizen I am ;-P No, instead I take the mature option and make sarcastic comments with my girlfriend as we moan at the person to HUSH!

I bloody hate it. Oh, I do speak to them - I do tell point out to them the huge stickers and signs along the carriage indicating the use of these items is not permitted in this coach and they shoud, bugger off to every single other coach to use their gadgets. They're in the QC not because there's no space elsewhere; it's not they can't read; it's not even that the coach was nearest to them at the station - as the QC's are normally at the end of the platform away from the lazy punters - no, it's because they're frakking idiots.

Seriously, leave the quiet coach to the people who genuinely want to use it. People want to relax, sleep, read a book, window gaze; not be slowly (or in my case, quickly) driven irrate by your incessant cacophonies.

Train Companies should make it company rules that travellers in the Quiet Coach can physically remove any offending devices and destroy them (not the offending person - I'm not a monster ;-P ). They could install a small compacter to squash their gizmos into a a little cube, like with car-crushing, so they can hold it for the rest of the now uneventful journey.

They're just so ruddy annoying.

As Alan Partidge would say: Scum... sub-human scum. Can't argue with The Partridge.

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#6 Wobbly Tables

Weebles wobble but they never fall down.

Fair enough - I have no problem with wobbly Weebles and their intolerance to prostration.

Tables, on the other hand...

Obviously, I don't expect them to fall down but when they wobble they annoy me.

How many restaurants and cafes have I been in where a wobbly table needed sorting before I could enjoy my meal? Lots is the answer, my friends. The strange thing to me is that no matter what the quality of eatery (always wanted to use that word), you can always find a wonky table that requires the obligatory folding of a serviette or scrap of paper; should a napkin prove too cumbersome and impolite. I'd expect lesser quality establishments to have the odd imperfect table/uneven flooring combination but it comes as a surprise when you're splashing the cash in a fine restaurant and you get a 'wobbler'.

To be honest, I'd half hope that the management would check their tables were fit for purpose but I've gone back into places where I had 'corrected' tables and now found the tables re-wonkified (technical term). Surely this is utter madness - either they are deliberately out to torment their customers or they are so blindly idiotic they remove the 'offending' item and don't put the fact that one of their customers is placing paper under one of the legs should lead to them either leaving the paper or adjusting the table/flooring professionally. Perhaps the staff have delusions of being KGB agents picking up secret messages left at the special table drop.

I feel I have become a semi-professional table fixer in my time. Maybe that is a part-time career move I could take - de-wonkification consultancy fees await... ;-P

I think I must un-British myself next time the Wobbly Table effect occurs and actually mention it to the staff. It would be interesting to judge their reaction - are they blissfully unaware or is there a secret and subtle mind-game being conducted in which we are the guinea pigs. My investigations begin....

#5 99p

Things that are priced 99p and 'something' and 99p.

It's such an irritation. What's wrong with a rounded number? Why £4.99 and not just £5....?

Well it seems it's there because businesses think (or know?) customers are stupid and easily fooled so a 99p price tag looks cheaper to us than a £1, £99.99 is better than £100, etc. We're apparently more likely to buy thinking it's cheaper - wow a whole 1p changes our perspective.

Granted, many shoppers are aware of this trick/psychology and add the extra 1p and understand the real value but many others are being subtly duped. They're tempting us. Oh, and as for buying multiple 99p items, the ruddy totals and annoying change that's generated. Now we use cards to pay, the whole process is even more absurd as no change happens you just end up with ridiculous numbers being deducted each month from your account but the process of people spending more than they might still occurs.

I'm bound to be wrong - I've done no research and just type as it comes in my head - no draft - no thought ;-P But I feel this way and I know I'm not an idiot. It's got me cross for some reason or other and I need to work it through. I can accept when I'm wrong but, let's face it, we all like thinking we're right XD

What I object to is the pointlessness of it all. Why bother anymore? It's the pure fact that the businesses are still marketing to us like that - we're not all idiots.

I'm sure it's the OCD in me that wants nice round numbers. Don't get me wrong, I'm no maths slouch - people that know me will tell you I'm competent - I just don't like doing pointless maths when shopping.

Oh, and I care and I count because I do shop on a budget - I've learned my lesson on over-spending and cards and accounts. Standing firmly on my soapbox, there are many people who need more education and support in managing their finances effectively but we live in a capitalistic society - money rules. As long as the tax comes in, business does well and there's always plenty of people at the bottom of the pile supporting the few at the top then everything's great... as long as you as an individual are doing 'well' it doesn't really matter about the others. That's what we're supposed to believe, as long as someone is worse off you're doing good. Keep pushing, keep working, you'll get to the top like the few - as long as whatever you do you keep spending.

They see us as mugs and many of us are happy to oblige. Make a choice. Start with 99p. See it for what it really is, the thin edge of the wedge, the tip, and then make the choice - do you really need to spend? I'm not talking about the essentials that we all must purchase but those extra shiny-shiny things that stave off the lament; the things that are there to convince us we are successful because we can buy it (or take out credit from the lovely banks that we've already paid to support and keep in business so they can charge us even more and make even more mistakes).

It doesn't really matter. I've made my choice. People make theirs. I know how I want to live my life and how I want to be at the end of it all. The powers will want to keep extending my retirement age and reduce my pension so I'll be near-dead(or dead) by the time I'm ready for it. The only way out is if I save up and spend frugally or play their game and make a load of dosh at the misfortune of others elsewhere. I've resigned from this way of life. I'll be damned if I give them another inch.

Blimey, I am feeling grouchy today :O

Oh, and 99 Flake Ice-creams are not called that because they cost 99p at one point in their existence. Thankfully. ;-p

And I couldn't resist the absurd image of a woman with a 99 cone hat stroking a horse statue. Must be a fetish for someone out there...

#4 Crap Maps

I really get cross with crappy, inaccurate maps - particularly the 'You are Here' maps that don't show you properly where you are or, better than that, complicated city maps that don't indicate orientation (like North), scale, nor your current location. That's really helpful. Cheers.

Don't get me wrong, I know how to read maps - I use OS maps regularly, I hike and I did a lot of orienteering and backpacking when I was a teen. I like maps - I like map-reading - I hate crap maps.

I really feel for people who come to use these craps maps and don't understand them - they must feel they are doing something wrong.... no it's the crap-map-designers. The poor viewer may get lost and waste time - particularly if they are visiting an area for the first time. These big board maps are there to be a used resource - why waste public money on crap?

True, some maps are very good but too many a time I have been to a city, getting off the train, and going, 'Well I'm glad I brought my own map, their's is crap'

Blimey, I'm a miserable git today... XD

P.S. Oh, and I am a typical male and don't like to ask for directions ;-P

#3 Rude People

Rude People - meh!

How much effort for a simple excuse me; please and thank you?

Too much for many it appears as they are far too busy and (self-)important to consider others.

For me, manners are so important - I enjoy using them and obviously enjoy people being polite in return. Few things, (well, besides mushrooms) get my goat more than a lack of manners.

'Am Sure this doesn't need over-explaining or over-exemplifying as I know we've all had many-a-moment where we've felt aggrieved and insulted by another person's appalling behaviour around us and /or others.

How can we expect children and young adults to behave appropriately (as many people are so ready to condemn them for not doing) when so many adults don't 'practise what they preach'?

The only way to fight this horrible tide of dehumanised and atrocious attitudes to one another is to make every effort to keep being polite in face of any that are rude in the hope that enough people will engage and consider each other more; leaving the rude people further and further in the minority.

Sadly, it's not looking like that's happening.

#2 Sports Clothes

I'll make this clear - Sports Clothes worn by the terminally inactive.

Why? Why wear sports clothes when you have no intention of playing sport that day, that week, that year, that lifetime. You've probably never played proper sport or, at least, forgotten the last time you did. Grrrrrrrr.

What next? I know, I'll get up tomorrow and walk around in mountaineering gear (crampons, icepick, helmet and all). 'Are you going mountain climbing?'......' No,' I reply. 'I'm just like the fashion.' Idiots. Ruddy synthetic fibres as well - they look so naff.

Oh, and I'm not being snobby (although I won't deny I can be a snob) as sports clothes aren't that cheap and I wouldn't care what 'class' (horrible term) of person wore sports clothes - if you're not playing sport just take them off.

Oh, and sports wear should have a content filter. Some are just plain nasty and should be banned full stop - I recall the days of shellsuits *sick* like this photo >>>

It's just plain wrong.

However, on the positive side, it does clearly indicate which people are lazy idiots so you can steer well clear. Every cloud...